I Blame Canada...mostly

As I pulled into my hotel in Charlotte Monday night, snow flakes were already starting to fall. It helped soothe the frustration I had towards myself for not checking the Spurs schedule. I’m walking down the terminal and at one of those sports bar things, they are showing highlights. Of course I see Tony Parker and I am immediately drawn in only to see “Hey, that was this afternoon. Hey, that was in Charlotte. Hey, I AM in Charlotte!” I mean, what was the chance that the one time they play in Charlotte all season was the very day I am in town? Not only that, but this is the Bobcats we’re talking about here…I could’ve totally gotten like a $5 ticket then moseyed on down to the front row. But seeing the snow made me happy and excited. I figured I would get into the hotel, pull up my email, and they folks who I was meeting with would have sent me something saying “FYI, we’re getting snow here, so let’s work something out” Well…that would’ve been fine if I could get through the Lockheed firewall. Luckily I am amazing and foresaw this possibility and printed out my contact’s information before I left the office earlier. Since it was around 11 pm, I figured I would just call in the morning to see if things were still good. About six hours and five inches of snow later, we connected and decided we would squeeze the meeting in on Wednesday before I flew out.

This left me with all day Tuesday to sit and watch the Inauguration circus. My TV was dripping from all the media drooling over their newly appointed Savior of the Universe. Seriously, I had to get a towel. Luckily, TNT was showing Cool Runnings, so I was spared much of the parade nonsense. Although I am a bit disappointed I missed Ted Kennedy’s exit. Anyway, by the time I left Charlotte, it was a brisk 25 degrees. When I touched down at DFW, it was dang near balmy at 72. I rode home with my top down. Then Friday, put the top down again, went to get gas, return my Blockbuster rental that I never watched, and buy the book I’m currently reading, making a semi loop around Fort Worth. By the time I was on my way home I had the heater cranked up, seat warmers on, and was still shivering. Within like a couple hours the temperature dropped from near 80 to around 40. From that point, the rest of the weekend was miserable. To top it all off, I thought I has left my phone in North Carolina (but it turns out it was just in the bottom of my laptop bag), so I had to go knock on my neighbor’s door in my weakened and vulnerable state and ask if I could use their phone to call in sick for my Temple shift.

I realize the origin of this front was somewhere up in Canada, so I put the blame for my congestion and sneezing and general deplorable station squarely on her shoulders. Well, fine…we all know Okalahoma’s primary role in the galaxy is to stand as a buffer against these kinds of things, so in fairness they really dropped the ball. So let me do the calculations….do the weights and factors….carry the 3….and it turns out my sickness this weekend can be blamed 74% on Canada, 19% on Oklahoma, 4.5% on the other plain states, and 2.5% on Al Gore. Seriously, shouldn’t Florida be underwater and Alberta growing wheat already? Instead we’re now set for an over-exaggerated Texas ice storm. In a time where it is popular to place blame on any and everything that can and will go wrong, someone needs to pay. So when my neighbor lets me know how much the long distance call to Dallas was, I will send it along with my Walgreen’s receipt to Ottawa and they can decide how to split the check.